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It's understandable that guests at Walt Disney World have a lot of questions. The resort is a big place, and with so many things changing on almost a daily basis, it's easy for even the most prepared guest to feel a little overwhelmed. However, that doesn't mean that all queries are created equal. 

The following questions are pretty ridiculous, but unfortunately Cast Members hear them all too often. 

1. How does (insert special effect here) work?

Image: Disney

Walt Disney World is a magical place, filled with amazing attractions. And while we’ve all wondered how those transparent ghosts dance around the ballroom at the Haunted Mansion and marvelled at Tinkerbell flying through the air night after night, you can’t just ask a Cast Member about these things. For one thing, the official answer to all of these questions is “magic” and second of all, not all Cast Members are experts in how every ride at Walt Disney World works. Besides, if you really want to learn how all the special effects work on your favorite attraction, there are plenty of online guides that can help you out. 

2. Where’s Frozen Land/ Star Wars Land?

There’s no such place as Frozen Land. And Star Wars Land doesn’t exist...yet. So why do guests ask about these places? Those asking about Frozen may be looking for one of the two exisiting Frozen-themed attractions (at Disney's Hollywood Studios and the Magic Kingdom), or might be a little too eagerly anticipating 2016’s Frozen Ever After ride. Those who are confused about Star Wars Land are probably looking for Star Tours at Disney’s Hollywood Studios, or are at the park about ten years too early.

3. Are you sure (insert attraction here) is closed? 

When an attraction is down, whether it be for a scheduled refurbishment or temporarily due to unplanned maintenance, it can be disappointing. We all want to ride our favorite attractions, and hearing that Pirates of the Caribbean is down during your FastPass+ window is a major bummer. However, even though you may see plenty of Cast Members in front of the attraction, and there could even be guests in the queue, if you are told that an attraction is down for an indeterminate amount of time, it’s not a trick or a lie. No one is hosting any back-row boat parties. The attraction is closed, and it could be a few minutes, several hours, or even a couple of days before it reopens.  

4. Why are the parking trams so slow? 

Walt Disney World parking lots are massive, and after a day of criss-crossing your favorite park to get to all of your favorite attractions, the wait at the end of the day for a parking tram can feel agonizing. Many guests have hypothesized that if the trams just drove a little faster, they could get guests to their cars more efficiently. What these guests don’t take into account though is the fact that Walt Disney World’s parking lots aren’t an extention of Test Track.  Parking trams have to share the road with other transportation vehicles, guest cars, and most importantly, pedestrians, which means that a safe ride, is unfortunately a slow ride. 

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My friend Angie work at the start of the line que for the Indiana Jones ride at Disneyland. She was once asked by a family who had just come off the ride "we were here a few years ago, when did you replace the boats with the jeeps?" Angie replied "Disney like to refurbish and reuse ride parts. You can now see and be on those boats at the Jungle Cruise right next door. the line starts right there."

One time we are at Guest Relations in MK to renew our annual passes towards the end of the night. When we get in, there is a guest who is just belligerent towards the cast member. This was during the early parts of the hub remodel mind you. This guest just couldn't handle why there were such crowds on main street, and insisted that they could just "push the buildings back a couple of feet". Insisting that he was sure the buildings were mere facades that could just be moved at a moments notice.

This guest was trying to get the phone number for the president of parks and resorts, and the cast member was just a star dealing with this guest. I would have probably punched him as he was waving his arms around and screaming, but this cast member just stuck to her role and did what she could to diffuse a difficult situation. I'm sure this guy got nothing but high blood pressure out of this.

TL;DR

"Why can't you just push the buildings on main street back a couple of feet?"

People laugh when they hear that someone will ask what time the 3:00 parade is... but it actually happens. It happened to me when I was a cast member, I ever so sweetly told them 4:00. My feeling, if you are that dumb to ask when the 3:00 parade is, then you deserve to miss it!

I wish everyone was trained to answer questions like the Disney cast members. No matter how many times they've been asked the same question, dumb or not, they just smile and repeat the answer. I had a school friend who had been on vacation, and apparently she had been asked the same question over and over, so when I innocently asked her where she had been, she snapped, "The Smoky Mountains! Geez!" I wish she had been trained in the Disney way.

I used to work for the Monorail and had several people ask me "how do you get to Disney World" while standing on the monorail platform at the ticket and transportation center. It took a while the first time to figure out they usually meant the Magic Kingdom.

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