3. It’s a Small World

Two out of the top three Magic Kingdom rides in terms of throughput are NOT Omnimover attractions. You probably believe at least one of them is, though. That’s because the controlled boat ride concept is similar, even when something doesn’t technically qualify as an Omnimover.

Whereas Under the Sea pretends to take you on an underwater adventure, It’s a Small World actually does take you out on the sea. You ride along on what Walt Disney once described as his Little Boat Ride, listening to an inescapable song all the while. Each boat holds 22-24 people (more if some are small children), and Disney can unleash dozens of them in the water at the same time. For that reason, It’s a Small World has insane throughput. I tried to count this the last time I was at Walt Disney World and even asked some staff about it. Their numbers struck me as a bit ambitious, so I’m going a bit lower here.

My belief is that It’s a Small World infects 2,820 people per hour with an insufferable earworm. That’s 39,480 people each night that can’t get to sleep because of that infernal song. And yes, if you’re paying attention, you likely noticed that the numbers spiked from fourth place to the top three. These are the true throughput kings of Magic Kingdom.

2. Pirates of the Caribbean

Cosmologically, Pirates of the Caribbean is so similar to It’s a Small World that I struggle to mention anything new and different about it. The key thing is that some people ride It’s a Small World once and then never want to think about it again. Pirates of the Caribbean’s appeal is eternal.

This attraction is also similar to Jungle Cruise in that it’s not technically finite in terms of guests per boat. It has an estimable range, though. The average boat should host 18 people most of the time. It could go higher when the lines are long enough that Disney needs to pack people onboard. As for boats in the water, Pirates of the Caribbean has so many scenes and so much space between scenes that it keeps a mighty fleet of pirate vessels in operation. My belief is that 2,920 people ride each hour, which equals 40,880 over the course of a full day.

1. Haunted Mansion

Given the comments above, you shouldn’t feel surprised by the winner here. Omnimovers are the best throughput machines Disney has invented thus far. They’re perfect at satisfying hundreds of customers simultaneously. The only downside to Omnimovers is the size of the tracks. Disney tries to keep them smaller to improve the functionality and reduce the odds of mechanical failure. That’s why the Little Mermaid is 624 feet in length.

For The Haunted Mansion, Disney was testing a new technology. They were ambitious rather than conservative in the attempt. The track for The Haunted Mansion is 960 feet. That’s roughly 54 percent, meaning that it (theoretically) adds 54 percent more throughput. For various reasons involving improvements in technology over time, Under the Sea is a bit more efficient than its older counterpart, though. That’s why The Haunted Mansion doesn’t quite match the expected throughput. The number is still pretty shocking, though.

In an average hour, The Haunted Mansion services 3,000 guests. Over the course of a day, that’s 42,000 happy haunts that jump into a Doombuggy and have the time of their lives. This ride is so smartly constructed that it doubles the throughput of the number seven attraction on the list. On any given day, if you ask a guest what they got to ride during a Magic Kingdom visit, you now understand why the likeliest answer is The Haunted Mansion. It entertains more theme park tourists than anything at the park…but there’s always room for more. Any volunteers?