The flaws with the “celebrities”
Imagineers constructed the attraction by dividing it into sections. To emphasize the novelty of each part, Disney added celebrities. The (bad) idea involved the rider’s excitement over these famous people taking an interest in interacting with the rising star.
For whatever reason, Disney struggled to attract A-list talent for the ride. I’m going to list the celebrities that theme park tourists encountered during Superstar Limo:
- Tim Allen
- Antonio Banderas
- Drew Carey
- Jackie Chan
- Cher
- Cindy Crawford
- Whoopi Goldberg
- Melanie Griffith
- Regis Philbin
- Joan Rivers
Depending on your age, you may know some/most of these names. In fact, you might even have an image in your head of each one. How many would you consider A-list Hollywood talent? And I don’t mean today. I mean ever. Tim Allen’s a topflight sitcom actor and the voice of Buzz Lightyear. Generally, his live-action movie career’s been a bust, though, Galaxy Quest notwithstanding.
Drew Carey and Whoopi Goldberg host a game show and talk show, and the latter woman has won the prestigious EGOT. Jackie Chan remains one of the most famous celebrities from China and has probably had the most box office success in North America, thanks to Rush Hour and Shanghai Noon. And everyone loves Regis for his comforting presence.
None of them are even remotely A-list celebrities, though. They’re closer to the cast of Celebrity Big Brother. Also, Disney somehow made the situation worse by creating creepy recreations of these people.
Whoopi Goldberg looked like she had pants made out of a trash bag. Tim Allen seemed more like Frankenstein wearing a suit. The whole thing was an abomination, and even the people involved with the project knew it.
Comments
"For whatever reason, Disney struggled to attract A-list talent for the ride. "
Disney didn't make any effort to attract A-list talent. They used celebrities who were already under contract with Disney.
"Disney somehow made the situation worse by creating creepy recreations of these people. "
That's an understatement. The recreations looked ridiculous because they were so cheaply made. If Disney had spent some money to create lifelike wax figures (like Madame Tussaud's) or used audio animatronics, it wouldn't have looked so awful. But Superstar Limo was made on a strict budget. They didn't have the money to do it right, so they did it poorly.