Na’Vi River Journey

Image: DisneyPandora – The World of Avatar is Disney’s greatest theme park triumph of the 21st century. I honestly believe that. Any visit to Disney’s Animal Kingdom should include a stop at this immersive themed land. Everyone knows this, which explains the huge crowds so long after Pandora’s opening.

The FOMO here is that you want to ride everything at Pandora, and that’s not difficult since there are only two rides. No, the difficulty stems from the wait-times for these attractions. Presuming that you don’t have a FastPass, you may spend half of a park day just on two rides. It’s not the best investment of your valuable park time.

While I happen to love Na’Vi River Journey, I’m in the minority. The general perception of this (extremely) dark ride is that it’s substantially worse than Avatar Flight of Passage. Your FOMO may drive you to ride both attractions, but you’ll buy yourself a couple of hours to do other stuff by skipping Na’Vi River Journey.

Rivers of Light

Image: DisneySpeaking of poor time investments at Animal Kingdom, your love of Disney’s nighttime presentations could get you into trouble here. Since you’re already at the park and have heard how spectacular it is at night, you may feel compelled to watch Rivers of Light. Sadly, that’s not a great idea.

For whatever reason, this presentation seemed doomed from the beginning. It was first delayed for the body of a year. Then, it was changed at least twice during its initial 18 months of operation. Even now, it’s a shiny but dull display that you’ll struggle to understand.

I once wrote a Behind the Show about Rivers of Light. Most of the feedback I received echoed the same thought. Even those Disney fans who had watched it multiple times hadn’t followed the story at all. It’s just too confusing. Don’t let your FOMO trick you into watching the worst of Disney’s nightly presentations.  

Space Mountain

Image: DisneyI think this is the most controversial suggestion on this list. Let me explain. Space Mountain is the most recognizable roller coaster on the planet. Without it, none of the other coasters that you love would exist. Given its status as the seminal roller coaster, Space Mountain regularly has long lines. Your FOMO will drive you to take a tour of the galaxy on this attraction anyway.

Here’s the thing. Space Mountain is more than 40 years old, and it hasn’t gotten a lot better over the years. To the contrary, it seems rather quaint compared to today’s monstrous giga and strata coasters. The other troubling aspect of the ride is that roller coasters have gotten a lot less rickety over the years. Space Mountain has not.

I pity anyone with a bad back who gets on this ride. You’ll get your butt kicked to the point that you may struggle to walk for a few minutes afterward. And fans of high velocity will exit feeling disappointed as well. Space Mountain’s top speed is only 28 miles per hour. It’s a bike ride down a steep hill more than a hyperspace portal into the abyss of space.

Oh, who am I kidding? You’re all going to ignore me and do all of these things anyway. You don’t want to miss out, right?