Main Street, U.S.A.

Image: DisneyThis themed land is the easiest to determine. The “choice” isn’t really a choice unless you absolutely love transportation. The only true attractions available all day are the Disneyland Railroad, Main Street Vehicles, Main Street Cinema, and Great Moments with Mr. Lincoln. That’s two things that are the equivalent of the monorail, a theater that plays Disney shorts, and one of the most historically significant attractions at any Disney theme park. You can guess which one wins.

I’m a huge fan of the 1964 New York World’s Fair, the place where this attraction originated. Walt Disney and his Imagineers at WED Enterprises stole the show there with the lifelike recreation of Abraham Lincoln in audio-animatronic form. More than 50 years later, it’s still an inspiring show worthy of admiration. It’s unquestionably the best attraction at Main Street, U.S.A.

Mickey’s Toontown

Image: DisneyUntil Star Wars Land: Galaxy’s Edge finally arrives, this 1993 expansion remains the newest themed land at Disneyland. Yes, it’s been more than 25 years since park planners added something new. Until then, it’s Mickey’s Toontown or nothing.

Along those lines, Homer Simpson proclaims that the “two sweetest words in the English language” are “dee fault.” I mention that because something technically has to win at Mickey’s Toontown, and I’m half-tempted to choose the “nothing” side of the equation. Roger Rabbit’s Car Toon Spin never did much for me, but the only two true rides here are Gadget’s Go Coaster, a kiddie coaster, and it. So, the winner at Mickey’s Toontown is Roger Rabbit’s Car Toon Spin…by “dee fault.”

New Orleans Square

Image: DisneyThe decision here is brutal. Two of the most beloved attractions in Disney history reside at New Orleans Square. The Haunted Mansion was envisioned as the anchor for the entire themed land. Due to unforeseen circumstances, Pirates of the Caribbean opened two years ahead of it. These were two of the last attractions that Walt Disney worked on prior to his death, and neither one debuted until after he was gone.

In the annals of theme park history, few attractions earn true name recognition. These rides are ones that even uninterested parties know are hugely popular. Both major attractions at New Orleans Square qualify.

Since I’m forcing myself to pick one in this exercise, I select Haunted Mansion by a narrow margin. It’s the more enjoyable ride and also the one that fits best with the New Orleans Square theme. Yes, pirates were an integral part of Louisiana culture, but Haunted Mansion is the reason why New Orleans Square exists. That’s the x-factor here.