Mission: Space

Image: DisneyChanges at Future World are happening soon. That much is undeniable. Disney has bold plans for the 35th anniversary of Epcot. Mission: Space was always controversial due to the stressful aspects of the simulation on the human body. Now, it’s the worst combination of unpopular and spacious.

Only a handful of Future World pavilions are massive in size. Mission: Space is one of them, which makes its lack of lines that much harder to ignore. At a park with a few major attractions, Mission: Space rarely has wait-times in excess of half an hour. The norm is much lower. Theme park tourists vote with their time. When something isn’t exciting enough to give repeat rides, it’s been found lacking, and that’s sadly true of Mission: Space.

Image: DisneyWith a premise as fertile as outer space exploration, Disney should have the ability to come up with something much more profound than what currently resides at this pavilion, a simulation where a person pushes a button a couple of times. Mission: Space needs updating in a world where smartphone apps offer more engaging space adventures. Whether Disney discards the current premise and builds something entirely new or updates what they have is up for debate.

Personally, I would move away from Mars since the ride’s shelf life would be less than a decade by the time Disney finished renovations. Trappist-1, here we come! That’s the kind of ambitious exploration prototype more representative of the culture and tradition of Disney Imagineering.

Stitch’s Great Escape!

Image: DisneyThe top two selections on this list are the obvious ones. It doesn’t take a lot of insight to understand that Disney’s decision to reduce this attraction to part-time signifies it’s at death’s door. The fact that loud rumors already exist about its replacement also doesn’t help the perception that it’s on borrowed time. Given the quality of Stitch’s Great Escape!, Disney’s right to weigh options about its replacement.

From the very beginning, many theme park tourists harbored a grudge over the attraction. It replaced a vastly superior experience, the legendary ExtraTERRORestrial Alien Encounter. Since Disney deemed that attraction too intense for some park guests, they introduced a much sillier premise using some of the same mechanics. The end result was disappointing, and I say that as someone who has spent more money on Stitch merchandise than food this year.

Image: DisneyIn October of 2016, Disney finally acknowledged the obvious. Stitch’s Great Escape! had the smallest crowds at Magic Kingdom. Honestly, the rides were small even if we compare the attraction to regular theme parks rather than the most trafficked one on the planet. People just don’t like it as a rule, and that’s a black mark on the otherwise pristine ledger sheet of Disney’s Parks and Resorts division.

While we don’t know what’s coming next, rumors involve characters from the Wreck-It Ralph franchise in a virtual reality driving simulation. That would make sense in that it would fit in the small space of the current attraction. Plus, it would offer a driving experience for people of all ages (including those under 4-feet tall) if/when Disney does get rid of Tomorrowland Speedway. I should mention that this rumor has been disavowed by some folks as considered and discarded, but the point remains. No matter what winds up at Stitch’s Great Escape!, it definitely won’t be the current attraction. Disney knows they have a lemon here.

Ellen’s Energy Adventure

Image: DisneyAs originally envisioned, the Experimental Prototype Community of Tomorrow would become a world leader in innovation and technology. A thriving Disney business would operate in this capitalist utopia. After Walt Disney died, the reality became something else. His brother and Imagineers tried to honor his stated goals for Epcot. Alas, finances forced sacrifices, ultimately leading to the introduction of an inferior yet still spectacular version of the park to become the reality.

One of the original pavilions/attractions was Universe of Energy in 1982, which was later replaced in 1996 by Ellen’s Energy Adventure. For many people, it’s a charming piece of edutainment featuring beloved talk show Ellen DeGeneres playing a game of Jeopardy against scream queen Jamie Lee Curtis. Yes, I’m serious. Bill Nye the Science Guy even makes an appearance. It’s super-weird in theory but works well in execution. It’s also super-slow, which is why a lot of savvy theme park tourists consider the attraction a wonderful place to take a catnap during the middle of a long day at Epcot. What it’s not is exciting or a major draw. Given the massive size of the pavilion, that’s problematic.

Disney knows the troubling situation at Ellen’s Energy Adventure. That’s why the rumor of a Guardians of a Galaxy roller coaster coming to Epcot makes perfect sense. It’d replace a flagging attraction with a wildly popular intellectual property from the Disney library, effectively doing for the front of the park what Frozen Ever After has done for the World Showcase.

Image: DisneyOut of all the reasons listed for shuttering the attractions listed here, the one for Ellen’s Energy Adventure makes the most sense. Disney is currently wasting energy powering a facility intended to draw awareness to the subject. Even as they switch to green, renewable sources, Ellen’s Energy Adventure remains a dated attraction that’s extremely well-intended but simply not a major draw. The attraction rarely has wait-times in excess of 15 minutes, even on the most trafficked days at the park. Its current existence is a burden on the company.

Conversely, a hot roller coaster attached to a great IP would add a fourth E Ticket attraction to Epcot, joining Soarin’ Around the World, Frozen Ever After, and Test Track. A switch from the potential energy of Ellen to the kinetic energy of the Guardians of the Galaxy will revitalize Epcot moving forward, even as it alters the overall theme of the park from the Future World of old to a more generic but important one: packing Epcot with guests each day.

Disney’s running a business, and their recent decisions are untethering their connections to the past in order to provide a better overall experience to the next generations of theme park tourists. To make that happen, they’re going to have to break a few eggs first, though. The five attractions listed above are the ones whose continued existence is difficult to justify on a ledger sheet, even if some of them maintain reverence among Disney fans. This is a transitional period for Disney theme parks, and the changes are going to seem controversial even if/when they make sense.