For example, Autopia takes up a massive chunk of Tomorrowland’s real estate. The ride consumes a land plot of practically equal square footage as everything else in Tomorrowland. Other Disney parks have already removed their Autopia-like rides. Its versions in Tokyo and Hong Kong Disneyland are now E-Ticket attractions.

It’s not exactly pant-poopingly intense to ride, and its “Tomorrowland” status arose when interstate freeways were a fantastic idea, not yet a reality. Little did Walt know, freeways made driving around Los Angeles about as fun as filling out job applications.

Other midcentury attractions that operate today follow the same principle– boring, outdated, but Walt-approved. Almost nobody rides the Davy Crockett Canoes (oh boy, manual labor). Great Moments With Mr. Lincoln is always nearly empty– Cast Members should just set up air mattresses and pump up the AC instead of making us nap awkwardly in those godawful plastic theater chairs.

Disney, Nostalgia, and Victims of Good Marketing

Here’s the kicker: How many of us were really there when Walt was in charge? What are we supposed to be nostalgic about with leftover attractions? Disneyland designates millions to invent nostalgia. Sure, many of us grew up riding Haunted Mansion and Pirates of the Caribbean. However, it’s doubtful that guests attending Disneyland After Dark: Throwback Nite would be nostalgic for “treats that are inspired by the park’s early days, made once again just for this event!”

In such cases, we might be victims of good marketing, nothing more. Because Walt’s version of Disneyland is nearly invisible, a skeleton of a skeleton, the Walt Disney Company can create a legend around its origins. Uninteresting attractions like the Motor Boat Cruise (and its mediocre Gummi Bears overlay) carry reverence amongst Disneyland diehards primarily because they either rode it as a child or did not get to ride it at all. 

Jean Baudrillard’s The Consumer Society; Myths and Structures notes that nostalgia consumption involves unimpressive reinventions of the past rather than accurate recreations of them, much like Disney’s reason to keep outdated attractions; “Children aren't children anymore? Childhood is turned into something sacred.” 

Outdated attractions remain because Walt Disney is a legendary figure, a loving specter that haunts everything his company does following his 1966 death. Forget his omnipresent anger with his employees and his McCarthy-era claims of communist opponents– his death marked his deification and cast his legacy in gold. 

So what’s left of the Motor Boat Cruise? If you’ve sat and had a pretzel on the trellis across from the Matterhorn, you’ve sat in its former loading area. While a small pool of water remains, its waterways are dried out and turned into a large patch of grass and weeds.

Besides housing the Monorail track before it docks in Tomorrowland, the area is possibly the greatest waste of space in the Disneyland Resort. If you’re in the park one of these days, check it out and imagine how unimportant this ride might have been.