4. Rock ‘n’ Roller Coaster Starring Aerosmith – 57 MPH

Image: DisneyWe're only now breaking the highway speed limit in the United States…in 1987. Disney still hasn't built a ride that surpasses the current speed limit of 65/70 MPH. Rock ‘n' Roller Coaster Starring Aerosmith is the ride that most people might guess is the fastest. That's because it's the one most closely associated with instantaneous, total velocity. This coaster accelerates to its top speed of 57 MPH in less than three seconds. It never goes any faster than that, though.

3. Summit Plummet – 60 MPH

Image: DisneyEarlier when I said that the monorail beats all but three theme park attractions in terms of top speed, I was saving a secret for you. I distinguish theme parks from water parks as a rule, and this exercise in semantics allowed me to spring this surprise on you. Blizzard Beach hosts one of the two fastest Disney rides in North America. You had no idea, did you? The aptly named Summit Plummet is a straight drop down a water slide from a height of 120 feet. It’s actually the fastest free fall slide in the world. Who says that Disney can’t break records for velocity?

2. Tron Lightcycle Power Run – 60.3 MPH

Image: DisneyOh yes, the fastest Disney attraction outside of the United States is at Shanghai Disneyland. Better yet, it’s an attraction that Magic Kingdom will receive as part of the 50th-anniversary celebration at Walt Disney World. Tron Lightcycle Power Run places you in a motorcycle position as you zoom through a Tron-themed course. The entire ride is over in about 90 seconds, but it's the most out-of-control experience that you can have on a Disney ride today. I cannot wait for Magic Kingdom to get it.

1. Test Track – 64.9 MPH

Image: DisneyDisney fans had probably guessed this one ahead of time. After all, Test Track leans into its velocity. You’ll see your speed posted up ahead as you zoom down the track. It never actually reaches 65 MPH, though. The rumor/fact that gets passed around is that Disney wanted Test Track to max out at 95 MPH, a speed that’s in the upper echelon of fastest rides in the world. Allegedly, Florida’s state speed limit of 65 MPH caused them to reconsider. Somehow, I think that Disney could have had that record if they’d wanted. Why would they need it, though? Test Track maxes out the architecture from Journey to the Center of the Earth and Radiator Springs Racers, making it the fastest Disney ride in the world today. But if Disney ever souped-up the monorail…