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Lantern Gardens

As part of California Adventure’s 2012 reimagining, the park’s Paradise Pier had its clock turned back to the turn-of-the-century, becoming a Victorian-age seaside boardwalk and pleasure gardens. In 2018 (and as part of that “DCA 3.0” push that seemingly undid so much of the success of “DCA 2.0”), the major section of the land – the boardwalk arcing around the lagoon – became the happily anachronistic Pixar Pier. While the Pixar Pier project obviously released a sum of funds needed to complete the land’s aesthetic shift to a beautiful, turn-of-the-century pier, it also stuffed that newly-redecorated land with odd, non sequitor “neighborhoods” stylized after Pixar’s highest-earning franchises.

Image: Disney

However, part of Paradise Pier did not become Pixar Pier. The lagoon-side aquarium housing a Little Mermaid dark ride wouldn’t be so easily “Pixar-ified,” so it was spared. So, too, were the Paradise Gardens Grill dining area, three “classic” seaside flat rides (the Golden Zephyr, Jumpin’ Jellyfish parachute tower, and the Silly Symphony Swings) and the Goofy’s Sky School wild mouse carnival coaster. Now arbitrarily cut off from the larger land they were initially a part of, this odd little sub-area was designated Paradise Gardens Park.

Obviously, having two turn-of-the-century seaside amusement park-stylized lands next to each other is… odd. Especially because they’re not really distinct enough to know where the line of demarkation is between them. There’s not even any signage to tell you you’ve passed from one land to another. So I tried to give this mish-mashed area an indentity as Lantern Gardens – a sort of cultural festival area for the park.

Image: Disney

I went ahead and kept THE LITTLE MERMAID: ARIEL’S UNDERSEA ADVENTURE in the turn-of-the-century aquarium that faces the bay. I suppose you could drop another Disney or Pixar story in there, but I don’t mind the ride. It fits the vibe, it’s cute, and it’s a rare appearance of the Disney Princess franchise in Disney California Adventure. Would I prefer if we dropped an entirely different Little Mermaid dark ride in its place? Yes. But it works.

The only problem with the land’s three seaside flat rides is that they don’t match. In “DCA 1.0,” that made sense, because the original Paradise Pier was basically supposed to look like a real boardwalk, which would indeed mash together rides from today and a century ago. The result was a Golden Zephyr plucked right from the ’20s, the jellyfish-themed parachute tower that I guess was meant to evoke The Little Mermaid indirectly, and then the ultra-modern Orange Stinger yo-yo swings (which were beautifully shifted to a classic Mickey Mouse-topped Silly Symphony Swings in “DCA 2.0”).

Images: Disney

I just envision them getting a matching visual package. The GOLDEN ZEPHYR doesn’t really need a change; Jumpin’ Jellyfish can become the REEF JUMPER, pulling away the stylized, carnival-like seaweed ornamentation and becoming a classic boardwalk parachute tower, and the SEASIDE SWINGS, losing their character applique to gain a more classic, turn-of-the-century look.

As for what to do with the Goofy’s Sky School wild mouse, I wasn’t entirely sure what to do here. I’d hate to reduce the park’s ride count, but as we all know, roller-coasters-themed-as-roller-coasters don’t have a great track record at Disney Parks. So your in your ideal build-out of California Adventure, you might keep it, or re-theme it. Even an unthemed version would, I guess, fit with the three classic seaside rides.

Image: Disney / Pixar

But even if it’s a fun enough add to the park’s family capacity, I envisioned it being replaced with FIESTA DE FAMILIA CON COCO – a “Festival of the Lion King” style musical performance that seemed to fit the vibe of this land as a beautiful, warm, cultural celebration, ready for holiday overlays and food festivals. Lots of warmth and joy and lamps and strung-up lanterns and food… Not a bad little area! Thinking bigger, this little plot of land could probably be used for something else entirely… but as far as a reasonable re-use of what’s there, I think it’s fine!

As for the amusement area known today as Pixar Pier… Well... Let's remember its history before we see my imagined fix for it.

Pier Problems

Image: Disney

Story, story story. If you ask Disney’s PR team, every single thing in Disney Parks is all about story. And say what you will about Paradise Pier – it had a a story. In the park’s early days, the story was surely that the time was now and the place was California; that we were stepping into a “real” Californian boardwalk as it really would’ve looked roundabout the New Millennium – a mix of classic seaside rides, stucco walls, neon signs, modern thrill rides, and fried food vendors. Sure, you can argue that that setting and rides like Mulholland Madness, the Sun Wheel, and the Orange Stinger weren’t very “Disney,” but there was a cohesive setting and story at play.

Image: Disney

The park’s redesign thoughtfully turned back the clock, grafting Victorian architecture and Edison bulbs and wrought iron onto the land, even sweeping across its rides and removing modern ornamentation in favor of classic, pie-eyed Disney characters on Mickey’s Fun Wheel, the Silly Symphony Swings, Goofy’s Sky School, etc. So at least visually, there was a strong story at play here, too: that – just like at Disneyland – we had been transported to a time and place that never truly was, but always will be; a sort of romanticized, idealized vision of what a turn-of-the-century boardwalk might’ve been like. Story? Check.

Image: Disney

The land’s third overlay – Pixar Pier – debuted in 2018 checking all the boxes of a Chapek-era project: it’s highly “Instagrammable”; “cheap and cheerful”; “cute but dumb.” While aesthetically, Pixar Pier doubled down on the gorgeous Victorian style initiated in 2012, it doesn’t bother to make any sense of it, cramming in nonsensical neighborhoods themed to The Incredibles (filled with mid-century architecture), Toy Story (with Toy Story Land-esque “giant” props), Inside Out (with literally just one spinning carnival ride), and “Other” (with the same Mickey-faced Ferris wheel, now nonsensically named the Pixar Pal-a-Round).

For a writer, Pixar Pier is an abomination. If it has a story, that story must be that The Walt Disney Company operates an amusement boardwalk, and in 2018, decided to overlay its popular and high-earning Pixar film franchises on the rides and attractions there. (I mean, life imitates art, right?) Only that could explain the presence of these juxtaposed stories and styles and the scapegoat “neighborhoods” that populate the pier. It’s silly, and a step backwards. So in my California Adventure, I tried to restore a strong sense of story and setting to this pier… but I didn’t revert it to Paradise Pier.

Pop-Up Pier

Image: Park Lore

Instead, I envisioned Pop-Up Pier, recontextualizing this seaside collection of amusements into the setting of a classic, black-and-white, 1930s Mickey Mouse short. When we arrive on Pop-Up Pier, it’s as visitors to a cartoon world, full of life and energy and mischief, packed with odes to those shorts and the pie-eyed classic characters who inhabited them. Yes, this is a testament not only to California’s boardwalks, but to the adventures of Mickey and friends in Walt’s earliest cartoons; a part of his California Adventure.

In fact, as guests cross the bridge onto Pop-Up Pier and pass by the INK & PAINT CLUB full-service restaurant, they’d actually see the full-sized STEAMBOAT WILLIE docked in the inlet of the bay, gently dipping to and fro in the water in time with the land’s peppy, big band, classic cartoon soundtrack. (The boat actually plays a role in the plot of the land’s re-themed roller coaster, but we’ll get there in a minute.)

I renamed the park’s body of water TECHNICOLOR BAY. That, I thought, would actually make a really compelling setting for the nightly WORLD OF COLOR as the celebration of animation and emotion and color that it is. Likewise, I turned the land’s central Ferris wheel – still adorned with a pie-eyed Mickey – into THE COLOR WHEEL with rainbow-hued cabins and a shimmering nighttime lighting package.

Image: Disney

The land’s flat rides become fun odes to classic cartoons… MICKEY’S MULTI-PLANES sends guests swirling around in curcles aboard crop-dusters (while also serving as a testament to Walt’s multiplane camera and the first Mickey cartoon produced, “Plane Crazy”), giving the park a Dumbo equivalent experience.

Nestled in the final helix of the roller coaster is DONALD’S BEACH PICNIC SPIN – a “teacup” equivalent set on a giant picnic blanket stylized after Donald’s 1939 short, “Beach Picnic.” Similarly, I’ve transformed the land’s carousel into the MERRY-MELODIES-GO-ROUND, housing creatures from Disney’s “Silly Symphonies” series. (The name of the ride is itself an homage to Warner Bros. historic musical cartoons.)

Given that this land is “built-out,” it also contains three major rides.

Image: Disney

First is MICKEY’S MIDWAY MANIA. If you didn’t know, Mickey was initially meant to be the host of this attraction until Toy Story won out… But I think there’s something wonderful about an early model Mickey in a straw barker hat and cane being a host for this ride, inviting guests to “step right up” and try their luck at midway games. (Remember, California Adventure’s Midway Mania makes sense in the context of the pier, anyway, so leaning into it here would be a very good decision in my mind.)

Not only could you have a lot of fun with playing classic midway games with characters like Clarabelle, Ortensia, and Horatio as hosts, but this ride could also be built around a larger premise of bringing color to the pier, perhaps by having a game with Techicolor Paintballs that would add color to the scene as guests play. I don’t know… there’s fun to be had with this concept! (And of course, there’s got to be a hot dog stand on the pier outside.)

Image: Disney, via ESPN

Ahead of California Adventure’s “re-opening,” Disney CEO Bob Iger made a hilarious and historic move, trading legendary sportscaster Al Michaels from Disney’s ESPN to Universal’s NBC in exchange for regaining the legendary lost character, Oswald the Lucky Rabbit. (A good sport about it, Michaels reported that he expected that as a result, he’d be a Trivial Pursuit answer one day.) The character Walt developed before Mickey (but famously lost to Universal, forcing him to develop the Mouse instead), Oswald’s return was a big deal in animation circles, and Disney did activate on it in a cute way.

At least in 2012, Oswald sort of became the “unofficial” mascot of California Adventure and its Buena Vista Street… Which makes sense, since canonically, Mickey wouldn’t have existed yet at the time the land is set. While you could get Mickey plush and Mickey ears at Disneyland, California Adventure instead offered Oswald ears and plush… a very, very cute and clever distinction between the parks! Oswald and his merchandise can still be found at his eponymous gas station on Buena Vista Street, but I wanted the character to have a proper attraction.

Image: Disney

I pictured OSWALD’S ASTOUNDING ADVENTURE as a fun, tongue-in-cheek dark ride that would follow Oswald’s global adventures during the 80-ish years that the character was absent from pop culture. Perhaps a suspended dark ride (like Peter Pan’s Flight), guests would load into hot air balloons, taking off from the animated pier and traveling across the cartoon globe, seeing Oswald trying out careers as a jungle explorer, cowboy, gas station attendant, opera singer, and more, all while sadly watching Mickey’s star rise. Finally, a dejected Oswald would get the call from Mickey to join him at Disneyland, leading us back to the pier where the two would meet at last.

Finally, I had to imagine what do to with the land’s central roller coaster. I don’t think the “Incredicoaster” project was wrong to try to add story beats to the ride, but the execution surely leaves something to be desired. So I reimagined the ride as ROLL-O-COASTER RESCUE, basically bringing guests into a full-on Mickey short.

Image: Disney

Now, as guests board the roller coaster and make their way down to the water’s edge for the launch, they’d pull up right next to the docked Steamboat Willie. There, embedded screens, Mickey and Minnie would be at the railing, waving, “yoo-hoo”ing, and cheering guests on. But then, Pete would burst out of the galley, grab minnie, and zip off. “Oh no!” Mickey would shout, “Let’s get ’em!” With that, the coaster would launch, dipping and twisting and diving through comical set-ups as Pete makes off with Minnie and we (and Mickey) follow behind.

I kind of like the idea that as guests climb the coaster’s second lift hill, Pete they’d see Pete plant TNT ahead of them, with fog, light, and sound seeming to “explode” the coaster’s structure just as guests crest the hill. Guests could pass through scenes of construction chaos and other ridiculous traps set by Pete along the rides course. Cute moments like that could make this a very fun, very thrilling, and very cartoon-y ride, all culminating in Pete being captured and Minnie and Mickey re-uniting.

That would wrap up a whole lot of adventures on Pop-Up Pier… a land that’s now both an ode to Californian boardwalks, an homage to the early days of animation, and rich with story and setting that fits the other immersive lands in this park.

Golden State of Mind

Image: Park Lore

And there you have it – my complete, “idealized” California Adventure. Sure, this park isn’t perfect. But with 30 rides, 12-ish dark rides, plenty for thrill-seekers, and a whole new host of family rides, too, I think that this California Adventure would fulfill its destiny as a perfect counterpart and complement to Disneyland. Just as rich, just as storied, just as “built-out…” it would be a park of history, fantasy, and imagination, while still acting as a tribute to the Golden State and its stories.

Sure, this version of California Adventure isn’t possible, and for lots and reasons. But that’s what an “ideal build-out” is all about. It’s a dreamy, Blue Sky, imagined version of what could’ve been… So now we’ve got to ask… What would your ideal California Adventure look like?

Let us know your ideas in the comments below, visit my idealized reimagining of Disney's Hollywood Studios next, and keep an eye out for other Armchair Imagineered build-outs on Theme Park Tourist soon! 

 
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Reimagineer Magic Kingdom, Animal Kingdom Epcot and Disneyland.

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