3. Muppets Carousel of Progress

Once you picture Kermit kicked off his first chorus of "There's a Great, Big, Beautiful Tomorrow" and then the special's showstopping finale reprise with the entire cast, it's hard to stop thinking that the Muppets Carousel of Progress would be anything but a dream come true. 

Like the Muppets themselves, Carousel of Progress is a clever mix of earnest optimism and playful joy. The attraction carries a literal rhythm: basically. everyone thinks things couldn't ever be better than they are now, and time and time and time again, they're wrong. Things do get better; things always move forward; and thanks to technology, dreams become dreams come true. And if the ride's tempo remains true (which it will!), the things we consider groundbreaking will one day look downright laughable to our descendants.

There's a brilliance to the idea of a TV special that begins with Kermit and his "extended family" living life at the turn-of-the-century, with iceboxes and gas lamps as Piggy's domestic bliss; then, with a sing of the song and a WandaVision style transition, we're on to the '20s... No one but the Muppets could present such a delightful, hopeful, and historic look at American life and the technological and social progress that's made it better and better. While perhaps not as flashy as other Muppet specials, Muppet Carousel of Progress would be a deep-cut fan favorite. 

2. Big Muppet Mountain

Back in 2013, ABC actually did order a drama series based on Disney’s Big Thunder Mountain to pilot. Reportedly, the show would’ve followed a “modern” (that’s late 19th century) doctor who relocated to the bustling gold mine town of Big Thunder, run by a mysterious tycoon. A mix of Dr. Quinn Medicine Woman, Westworld, and the Modern Marvel: Phantom Manor, the show sounded intriguing. Unfortunately, it was scrapped and production never went forward. (Probably in part because Disney’s big gamble on making the Old West cool again was 2013’s The Lone Ranger… Yikes.) 

However, do you know what makes any canceled pilot better? Replacing its characters with the Muppets. There’s a brilliance to dropping the beloved troupe into an Old West town opposite a human lead (can we get back Michael Caine?) who arrives and never seems to think twice about the outlaws, sheriffs, and miners being pigs, bears, and frogs. Obviously, a Big Thunder starring The Muppets wouldn’t be the serious drama ABC once hoped for, but it would be a very fun world to explore. 

1. Muppets of the Caribbean

Bar none, there’s no Disney ride quite as perfect for the Muppets as Pirates of the Caribbean. It makes a lot of sense. Like the Haunted Mansion, this 1960s classic has a cast of dozens of recognizable characters that Muppets could easily step in for. Like the Jungle Cruise, it’s filled with comical setups just waiting to be “Muppet-ized.” Like Big Thunder Mountain, there’s a deep lore waiting to be explored. And like the “Pigs in Space” / Space Mountain connection, there’s already precedent thanks to Muppet Treasure Island, proving that the characters can deftly step into a piratical world to great success. 

Muppets Haunted Mansion proved just how skillfully Disney could activate two of its most die-hard fandoms in a perfect crossover. Muppets of the Caribbean would do the same. And boy would it be a fantastic thing to see… 

What do you think? What other attractions would be perfect for a Muppet mashup? Better yet, which rides do you think could have Muppet makeovers for seasonal or celebrational overlays? How do we get more Muppets into Disney Parks, and more Disney Parks into the Muppets? Let us know your thoughts in the comments below!