Water signs are the most primitive signs; after all, when Earth was new, it was covered in water. Just as Air signs operate off logic and intellect, water is all about feeling. “If I feel it, it’s true.” While Earth signs emphasize one reality, Water signs find reality blurry and subjective. They act emotionally and on instinct, creating their own worlds. Water takes the shape of the container it’s poured into, and similarly, Water signs are subtle, complex, and constantly changing. They process their ideals deep inside and can’t always restate or summarize them. "Water" parks are complex, always changing, and follow their instinct, but develop a strong sense of beauty and aesthetic along the way.

Cancer

Birth dates: June 21 – July 22

As the first and least practiced water sign, Cancers are defined by their need for emotional security and the comfort of familiarity. They tend to undergo periods of change and growth, but to quickly recede back into their shell. In so doing, Cancers can become emotional hoarders, afraid to let go. By remaining in their shells, they may come across as cold… but in reality, they’re sensitive and merely trying to protect themselves.

Cancers undergo creative cycles of depression and withdrawal between inspirations, ever seeking security and afraid to let things go.

Don’t hate us, but it’s Walt Disney Studios Park at Disneyland Paris. Sorry folks – someone had to get it! But really, this itty-bitty Parisian park (once the subject of its own Declassified Disaster: Walt Disney Studios exposè) doesn’t have to be the villain it’s been made out to be. And as a matter of fact, it won’t be for long. There’s no better description for this park than that paragraph above; it’s a park ebbing and flowing emotionally with bursts of creativity, then the harsh realities of its origin. But the important thing for Cancers and for Walt Disney Studios is to learn to let go and embrace an unknown future…

Scorpio

Birth dates: October 23 – November 21

Mysterious and enigmatic, Scorpios are often imagined as loners. But that’s not really true. Instead, Scorpios create deep, intense, specialized relationships. They tend to control themselves, control others, and control the world around them. Like any Water sign, they’re emotional and instinctual, opting for feeling over Fire’s energy, Earth’s realism, or Air’s logic. And as anyone who’s dated a Scorpio will tell you, they are patient, but know how to hold a grudge.

Scorpios look back on their lives and see distinct chapters, but prefer to burn each chapter as they go, starting anew every time.

Despite the reputation Scorpios have, we’ll offer an unexpected fit: Disneyland. Remember how Magic Kingdom (a Libra) sought to ignore dark feelings? Disneyland, as a Scorpio, can tune into those dark undercurrents, with an eerie Indiana Jones inspired narrative blanketed across Adventureland, the impoverished Batuu, the jazzy and haunting New Orleans Square, and more “PG” rides like Rise of the Resistance, Star Tours, and Temple of the Forbidden Eye that would never jive with Magic Kingdom’s insistence on strictly G-rated fairy tales and light. (That’s why we think if the Lost Legend: Alien Encounter had premiered at Disneyland as planned, it might still be open).

But the most Scorpio element of Disneyland must be that bolded line above. Disneyland has been there through it all. Literally. From Walt Disney to Bob Chapek, the park’s story is one of eras bookmarked against one another, with new visions constantly overtaking old. Somehow, the result is a park where Peter Pan, Indiana Jones, Roger Rabbit, Kylo Ren, the Tiki Birds, and Mr. Toad all feel essential. And trust us, Disneyland and its fans never forget a slight against the park... 

Pisces

Birth dates: February 19 – March 20

The final sign of the Zodiac (and thus, the most developed over many lifetimes) is Pisces, the fish. This is the sign of the mystic, which pursues what the rest of humanity discards. Pisces are in tune with the greater world, and have a tremendous awareness of a greater reality. They are intensely emotionally receptive and have intense empathy. Pisces is romantic and may even create drama and act self-destructively because suffering is romantic.

Ultimately, Pisces do things to excess; they are the great creators; they are imaginative dreamers who see into another world and share it with the real world.

There’s just one Disney Park left, and it couldn’t be a better fit: Tokyo DisneySea. The apex of the Zodiac and the pinnacle of Imagineering unite (and in the most developed Water sign, no less). Literally taking the discarded plans U.S. Disney Parks didn’t or couldn’t finance, DisneySea is like visiting another world; it’s an ultra-ambitious, impossibly romantic park that’s epic in both scale and message. Just as an example of how it differentiates itself so wildly from any other park, its centerpiece attraction is the Modern Marvel: Journey to the Center of the Earth, a literary masterpiece that serves as a Mecca for Imagineering fans the world over.

Mystical, adventurous, and grand, DisneySea takes everything you love about Disney Parks and cranks it up to a 15. It’s a living embodiment of the power of themed entertainment design, and a park born of heart and emotion.

Parkstrology

“Believe” in it or not, looking at Disney Parks through the lens of the stars actually does help add a new layer or context on top of them, and a compelling new narrative for their personalities, similarities, and differences… Again it’s thanks to my personal friend Ethan Thomas that this divine dissection is even possible, and I sincerely encourage you to tap over to his free-to-read novel, Glass in the Snow, merging Norse mythology and the Snow Queen mythos into a must-read frozen adventure.

(By the way, you can find the twelve signs of the Zodiac in Disneyland... Know where?)