4. Expedition: Everest – Fix the poor yeti

It’s no secret that the Expedition: Everest Yeti has had some problems over the years—it’s decade long malfunction has become something of a running joke. What was originally meant to be the attraction’s climactic effect—an ENORMOUS yeti swiping at the train below—ended up suffering from non-stop technical problems. The animatronic was so large, it actually couldn’t support its own weight and ultimately was left inert with a strobe effect to replicate movement.

Fixing the Eddie-the-Disco-Yeti would definitely be a great upgrade to Expedition: Everest. The good news is that this little detail is no longer a wish list item. Disney made the announcement in 2018 that repairs on the yeti and an overall refurbishment of Expedition: Everest was “imminent”. We still don’t know how soon “imminent” is (it’s been a year), but at least this particular detail has made it onto Disney’s to-do list.

5. The Tower of Terror – The cable snap effect

I almost was loathe to include this one on the list because it’s debatable if this was really part of the original ride. Still, it is a cool enough detail that it is worth revisiting.

The Tower of Terror at Disney’s Hollywood Studios has gone through several different versions. In the original version, guests only dropped in the elevator shaft once. This sequence was so short that guests were left disappointed, especially considering the ride’s long waits. The ride was refurbished into The Tower of Terror 2, where guests were dropped once, launched back to the top, and then dropped again. This version was great since it still allowed you to really savor that full faster-than-gravity drop rather than being yo-yo’d about like in the current version. Finally, the ride was updated to utilize the random drop sequence guests are familiar with today.

There are conflicting reports that the original version of Tower of Terror included a truly terrifying sound effect just before guests were dropped down the shaft—the mortifying sound of a cable snapping. We still don’t know if it was real, but many guests (myself included) swear by it. This was such a great moment in the ride, one that perhaps may have been too much for some visitors. Speaking for ourselves, we would love to see the cable snap brought back. It added a truly terrifying element to the Tower drop, one that tied the supernatural to the natural in a way that really set your teeth on edge.

6. Pirates of the Caribbean – CAPTAIN Jack Sparrow ™©

We’ve picked on this one before, but it still goes without saying. There’s something just a little bit… off about Captain Jack Sparrow™© in the updated version of Pirates of the Caribbean.

Perhaps it’s the way Captain Jack Sparrow™© doesn’t quite look like Johnny Depp—like he’s a little too gaunt in the face. It could also be the way Captain Jack Sparrow™© just doesn’t sound like his usual glib self, like he’s suffering from a bit of depression when he sings the ride’s namesake song. Maybe’s it’s -Captain Jack Sparrow’s™© overly on-the-nose references to popular movie lines or the dead look in Captain Jack Sparrow’s™© eyes.

Or it could be the fact that the current voiceover has his full name repeated way too many times. On one trip, we heard it a whopping seven times. Not Jack. Not just Captain Jack. Captain Jack Sparrow™©.

We’re having a bit of fun here, but there’s no subtlety to what Disney was up to. Particularly when the films came out, Jack was one of Disney’s most marketable characters. Pirates of the Caribbean was an unmitigated success, and Disney has pulled no punches making sure that everyone who rode the ride knew exactly who that extremely-marketable Captain was.

Unfortunately, the weird use of Jack’s full name comes across like a series of not-really-subliminal messages and makes the character dialogue feel unnatural at times. An easy fix? Dial back the uses of Captain Jack Sparrow™© a little bit. Have someone call him just Jack or Captain Jack. This tiny fix would do worlds for improving the realism of the ride.