Hong Kong Disneyland - Orbitron

Image: lorenjavier, Flickr (license)

Hong Kong Disneyland features, arguably, the greatest attraction outside of the United States: Mystic Manor. Local customs meant that a straight remake of the Haunted Mansion wouldn’t be well received, and so Disney went to the drawing board and reimagined the ride into a more mystical take on the uncanny and weird. The result was Mystic Manor, which is as creative and fun as any ride Disney has ever made.

At the other end of the spectrum, we have Orbitron — a straight remake of the Astro Orbiter-style attraction every Disneyland-style park has around the world. The one difference: the ride features flying saucers.

Ultimately, in a park that already opened with another similar ride in Dumbo, the space-age charm of the original Star Jets doesn’t quite feel as welcome here. Disney was willing to innovate and iterate on a classic attraction with Mystic Manor, but they seemingly took a step backward with Orbitron — not even elevating it, which was an obvious success from the Walt Disney World version. 

Tokyo Disneyland - Gadget’s Go Coaster

Image: Disney

Disney’s Japan resort is, by and large, fantastic. And so, picking the weakest attraction is, by design, very difficult. But, there is one ride that just seems quite out of place.

Why is there a Chip ‘n Dale: Rescue Rangers-themed roller coaster still open in 2019? Why is this less-than-60-second-ride seemingly untouchable? Why hasn’t Disney tried to replace it with a more modern IP?

Family rollercoasters can be both friendly and thrilling, as Slinky Dog Dash can attest to. Gadget’s Go Coaster is neither, and could easily be replaced. And, perhaps it should be. 

Tokyo DisneySea - Scuttle’s Scooters

Image: Disney

Tokyo DisneySea is, arguably, the most perfect Disney Park ever to be created. Something has to be last, and so we land on Scuttle’s Scooters.

This is an off-the-shelf caterpillar ride that Disney rethemed. That’s about it.

Is it actually bad? No. Is that a recurring theme here? Yes. Should you ride it? Not if you only have one day at Tokyo DisneySea. Otherwise, go nuts.

Shanghai Disneyland - The Many Adventures of Winnie the Pooh

Image: frikitiki, Flickr (license)

Disney spent billions of dollars to open a brand new theme park in mainland China, pouring its heart and soul into a reimagined Pirates of the Caribbean ride that has blown away nearly everyone who has ridden it.

Leaving no stone unturned, Shanghai Disneyland was the company’s biggest play yet into one of the world’s fastest growing economies. And yet, for some reason, the company decided to air drop a 20-year-old attraction right into the middle of it.

The Many Adventures of Winnie the Pooh is a charming enough ride, and is indeed one of the better Fantasyland attractions in Orlando. But why bring that exact ride over to Shanghai when the more popular Pooh’s Hunny Hunt should be the new standard?

This is a fine ride, but Disney should be setting its sights higher. It’s the least best ride at Shanghai Disneyland, ergo, it’s the worst.