My Disney Mount Rushmore:

Image: DisneyWithout further ado, here are my selections of Disney’s Mount Rushmore, along with explanations regarding their candidacies.

Haunted Mansion

Image: DisneyI don’t think anyone would argue with either of the middle two selections, the ones I’ll discuss next. The first and fourth ones are a bit more debatable, although I feel strongly that there’s a solid gap between the top three and the other major candidates.

I chose Haunted Mansion for several reasons. The most important one is that it embodies the best parts of Disney Imagineering. The earliest geniuses from WED Enterprises wouldn’t take no for an answer, even when trapped in paradoxical discussions. A haunted house at the Happiest Place on Earth couldn’t be terrifying. It couldn’t be a joke, either. Thanks to a sublime combination of conflicting concepts, however, they built something that’s equal parts funny and scary.

When we talk about well-known Disney elements, Haunted Mansion claims five: the Ghost Host, Madame Leota, the Stretching Room, Grim Grinning Ghosts, and the Hitchhiking Ghosts. I’m not including the Hatbox Ghost or the Bride in that, and I could mention several other aspects. I feel strongly that Haunted Mansion is one of the four seminal Disney theme park attractions.

Pirates of the Caribbean

Image: DisneyI see this one and the next one as inarguable. Your mileage may vary, of course, but here’s the argument in support of Pirates of the Caribbean. The attraction was so popular when it opened at Disneyland in 1967 that Floridians expressed outrage that Walt Disney World didn’t open with it four years later.

Disney executives had understandably believed that Floridians wouldn’t treasure a pirate attraction the way that Californians did. After all, it was already a part of the state’s culture and history! Pirates of the Caribbean is so appealing that the people who knew all the stories already still wanted to experience it. In marketing terms, Disney pulled off the equivalent of selling ice in Antarctica.

Even if the world had never learned of Captain Jack Sparrow and his adventures, Pirates of the Caribbean would still stand as a seminal Disney attraction. Theme park tourists are so passionate about the set pieces that the idea of changing them stokes outrage in certain circles.

Space Mountain

Image: DisneyThis one needs no explanation. Space Mountain possesses a rare and profound level of awareness in pop culture. For more than 40 years now, any discussion involving the best and most iconic roller coasters in the world must begin with it.

Space Mountain’s concept was so brilliant and original that Imagineers were forced to wait roughly a decade for technology to catch up to their version. Their computing needs were greater than the processing power available at the time. While this statement sounds a bit trivial now in the same way that describing Pac-Man as a transcendent videogame borders on comical today, the undeniable fact is that Space Mountain redefined the perception of Disney theme parks. To this day, it’s an attraction that guests must ride unless they want to leave the park feeling incomplete.

Spaceship Earth

Image: DisneyI recognize that I may have lost some of you. Please hear me out on this one. Shut your eyes and think about Epcot. How many things flash in your mind before you visualize the prototypical ride building in the Disney theme park lineup? Now that I’ve incepted the image in your brain, take a moment to appreciate the symbiotic relationship between Epcot the theme park and Spaceship Earth the landmark.

Now, let’s talk about the associated attraction. How easily can you summon Dame Judi Dench’s voice in your head? Do you hear her narrating about the Phoenicians, the Romans, and the Renaissance? Can’t you picture that breathtaking view of Earth from outer space, the one that indicates you’ve reached pinnacle of the geodesic dome?

The applicable cliché here is that Spaceship Earth gets hidden in plain sight. When you see the giant golf ball off in the distance, you know that you’re about to enter Epcot and have a wonderful time. Odds are good that you’ll board the time machine and experience thousands of years of human civilization in a concise 15-minute ride. You do this because Epcot is tethered to Spaceship Earth and thereby critical to the Disney theme park empire. I give it a slight nod over Splash Mountain as the worthy fourth choice for Disney’s Mount Rushmore.