3. Mystic Manor – Hong Kong Disneyland

Image: DisneyMystic Manor is diametrically opposed to Phantom Manor in terms of tone. It’s a decidedly slapstick take on the concept. Actually, it almost ignores the idea of the Haunted Mansion altogether. Rather than tell a story about a haunted house, the anchor attraction at Mystic Point fittingly highlights the daily struggles of one Lord Henry Mystic.

Well, more accurately, Mystic Manor ably displays the perils of owning a pet monkey. For some reason, a stately lord in charge of many of the most powerful mystical artifacts on the planet allows his monkey, Albert, free reign of the place. And the lil dude is every bit as irresponsible as you might expect. He accidentally gets his monkey’s paws into the wrong mystical entity, thereby triggering a chain of events that almost destroys the place. Silly monkey.

The ride experience on Mystic Manor is undeniably the best of any version of the ride. The dazzling special effects make it the shiniest of the five versions of Haunted Mansion. Plus, some of the details are remarkably engaging.

For example, when you stare long enough at a single wall painting, you’ll see the residents of Pompeii lunch together as a volcano explodes in the background. Its lava quickly engulfs them. The picture is so detailed that you can see one woman’s eyes widen at this turn of events, and the humor of the ride is such that the “victims” clink their wine glasses together in celebration.

I love everything about Mystic Manor other than its connection to the Haunted Mansion rides. There simply isn’t one. With so much whimsy and an emphasis on supernatural archaeological artifacts, it feels more like a spiritual cousin to an Indiana Jones attraction. Yes, it’s child-friendly and joy-inducing with its slapstick shenanigans. I might even go so far as to say that it’s the most entertaining of the rides listed here. It’s just…not very Haunted Mansion-y.

2. Haunted Mansion – Magic Kingdom

Image: DisneyWhile all versions of the Haunted Mansion are spectacular in their own ways, the reality is that the best of them will always come down to the first two versions. The Haunted Mansion at Walt Disney World is the longest and arguably the best of the bunch. It has all of your familiar favorites such as the dancing ballroom sequence, the Madame Leota séance, and happy haunts scene at the graveyard. With more than eight minutes on the Doom Buggy, you’re certain to get your money’s worth here.

Something I love about the Magic Kingdom version is how it honors its predecessor. After Walt Disney’s death, Imagineers had to construct two versions of the attraction in a relatively short time frame. The Orlando version arrived barely two years after the original. So, it has the same concepts, but it takes advantage of the one that Walt Disney World has over Disneyland: space.

The line queue is longer and better, the ride has more elements to it, and the overall implementation is slightly better. I’m a huge fan of the line queue in particular. The worst part about having a FastPass for Haunted Mansion is that you speed through this section too quickly. It deserves appreciation, something Disney highlights with the occasional behind-the-scenes video. It’s a special bit of plussing that the Tokyo Disneyland version lacks, which might be why I hold it in lower esteem. Still, it isn’t THE best version of the ride because…

1.     Haunted Mansion – Disneyland

Image: DisneyDo you love the Hatbox Ghost? Do you prefer originals to later copies? Do you enjoy special holiday overlays? As a Disney fan, are you more interested in rides that Uncle Walt personally had a hand in building? If you’ve answered yes to any or all of these questions, you’ve just agreed with me that the Disneyland version of Haunted Mansion is superior.

Located at New Orleans Square, this ride was supposed to anchor the first true themed land expansion at a Disney theme park. Since it was so delayed, however, it didn’t quite make the cut, missing its deadline by three years. Then again, missed deadlines were an integral part of the early Haunted Mansion experience. Mr. Disney had planned the attraction since before the opening of the Happiest Place on Earth…and he never lived to see its debut. Yup, it took that long to open the gates to the Haunted Mansion.

Once it finally arrived, the attraction delighted guests with its goofy sense of humor and creepy delights. With a deep roster of happy haunts, every Doom Buggy ride delivered intense satisfaction. The Haunted Mansion somehow found that perfect balance between the conflicting Imagineer ideologies and became the baseline for many dark rides that followed it.

Disney was never content to leave the Haunted Mansion alone, though. Over the years, they’ve tweaked it, plussed it, and added layers to it. Perhaps no situation defines their determination better than the Hatbox Ghost, a “special effect” that wasn’t very special. It was one of the most famous blunders during the earliest days of Disneyland, causing the dapper fellow to disappear for more than 40 years. Imagineers never forgot their failure, however, and the ghost returned triumphantly a few years ago, delighting guests with his special corporeal trick.

While I would still favor Haunted Mansion at Disneyland as the original, its holiday overlay is what puts it over the top. During the fall, Disney has incorporated the characters from The Nightmare Before Christmas into the attraction, wholly transforming the ride experience in the process.

Jack Skellington and his friends are adorable enough on their own, but the best part of this overlay is its technical wizardry. Since Imagineers aren’t able to make wholesale changes to the iconic attraction through the year, they relished the opportunity to flex their creative muscle. The digital displays and shiny animations hint at a tantalizing thought for the future: a modern Haunted Mansion attraction not tethered to the ghosts of the 1950s and 1960s. Hey, I can love the classics and still keep an eye toward the future of Disney.

Still, the past is where it’s at. And the first version of the Haunted Mansion is now and always will remain my favorite. Anything that once resided on the desk of Walt Disney is the ultimate for me.