3. Universal Studios Hollywood

Universal Studios adds a layer of complexity due to its duplication of popular rides around the world. You’ll find several of the same contenders at each of the three remaining parks. So, one quick rule addition is that I’m going to pick something different each time.

For Universal Studios Hollywood, I’m not going to discuss a shortlist since the choices will become clear in the next two sections. Instead, I’ll skip to the end and say that my favorite ride here is Despicable Me: Minion Mayhem. I’m a huge fan of the Despicable Me film franchise, and this attraction perfectly encapsulates the madcap hijinks of those stories. Even the line queue is decidedly better than most Universal rides; it’s more in keeping with the waits at Disney attractions.

2. Universal’s Islands of Adventure

A decade ago, Islands of Adventure seemed like a haphazard mismatch of conflicting themed lands. Today, it’s got so many great rides that culling the list is a challenge. Skull Island: Reign of Kong is a different kind of adrenaline rush attraction, one that incorporates King Kong extremely well. The Incredible Hulk Coaster isn’t subtle, but it’s hard to ignore the pure power of the thing.

With the Harry Potter rides, I’m not quite sure what to do with the Hogwarts Express, which is a viable selection at both gates. Thanks to the theming, it’s one of the best attractions in Orlando, even as a train between parks. Similarly, Harry Potter and the Forbidden Journey isn’t the best Potter attraction these days, but it remains a special place since it was first.

When looking at the overall options, however, I have to vote for the ride that was great even at a time when Islands of Adventure wasn’t. The Amazing Adventures of Spider-Man is such a great motion simulation dark ride that Universal has built about a dozen more of them with the same underlying structure. It’s theme park royalty.

1. Universal Studios Florida

There are (The Simpsons Ride) several terrific (The Simpsons Ride) rides at Universal Studios Florida (especially The Simpsons Ride). I’ve already spoiled what I’m picking, and I can feel your outrage from across the internet. Let me explain the why of it.

Harry Potter and the Escape from Gringotts impeccably combines the best parts of Harry Potter and the Forbidden Journey with a roller coaster’s thrilling elements. A few years ago, it wouldn’t have existed, and I would have chosen Men in Black: Alien Attack almost by default, even though that’s a tremendous attraction with an addictive gaming element. I’m not a fan of Hollywood Rip Ride Rockit, the Man Gets Hit in Groin with Football equivalent of a roller coaster. My man parts were sore for days after the last time I rode that monstrosity.

Universal Studios Florida has another two older attractions based on movies that I really love. Those are Revenge of The Mummy: The Ride and E.T. Adventure (don’t judge!). So, the pre-Potter discussion would have come down to three film rides. Today, it’s a pair of attractions based on two of the most beloved intellectual properties on the planet, Harry Potter and The Simpsons. Since I just made a Simpsons reference in the previous paragraph, you know where I stand on the subject.

I want to be clear that I think Escape from Gringotts is a masterpiece. It just lacks that one missing element that differentiates The Simpsons Ride. And that element is Sideshow Bob spending several minutes trying to kill me. To 99.99 percent of the population, Universal Studios Orlando is The Wizarding World of Harry Potter plus some other stuff. I’m that person who thinks of it as Springfield come to life, and The Simpsons Ride is my happy place.