Walt Disney's Enchanted Tiki Room

Image: jared422, Flickr (license)

All the birds sing words and the flowers croon in the Tiki Tiki Tiki Tiki Tiki Room. That’s basically the entire plot for this attraction — it’s laid out helpfully in song right at the top of the show.

And yet, that description sells the attraction short, particularly to any friends who haven’t seen it before. It’s so much more than that, really. 

It’s a cool place to sit for a few minutes in the Florida sun. It’s a piece of mid-century Americana brought to loving, garish life by Walt Disney himself. It’s one of the birthplaces of audio-animatronics, which shaped the course of Disney’s history.

Above all, it’s a zen-like space committed to keeping you relaxed during a vacation that can be largely about doing the opposite. Charm and calm cannot be explained, only felt. Yes, this show is just robotic birds mouthing along to pre-recorded music. But once you’re inside, the Chuck E. Cheese effect is not as pronounced as you might have thought — even if it’s hard to convince others of that fact. 

Country Bear Jamboree

Image: aloha75, Flickr (license)

The Country Bear Jamboree is kind of like a trick. On its surface, it’s simply an attraction where several robot bears sing songs to you. That concept might sound better suited to a day care center than a major theme park. 

Yet, while its form might indicate that this is an attraction for kids, the actual songs the bears sing really can only be appreciated once you’re an adult. That has always been the problem for the Country Bear Jamboree: By the time you’re old enough to truly appreciate it, you think it’s not an attraction made for you.

Similarly, that is the struggle in trying to explain this attraction to your friends. Helpfully, in the modern age, we’re able to circumvent this struggle a bit by simply playing the songs. Yes, it might sound like a kid’s attraction, but once listen to “Blood on the Saddle” is enough to make anyone want to see the iconic show.

If you haven't yet seen it, go. You've already waited too long. 

Impressions de France

Image: harshlight, Flickr (license)

“Thanks for coming to Epcot with me. Let’s go see a 30-year-old travelogue film with no plot and no Disney characters, featuring an ostentatiously poetic narration set to a score of classical music. It’s arguably the best show in the park.” 

I get it. That quote up there isn’t the most obviously appealing thing in the world. No one’s idea of a vacation to Walt Disney World involves seeing an art-house movie in an aging theater. 

But once you’ve seen “Impressions de France,” it’s hard not to be flabbergasted by others’ trepidation at experiencing the film. It’s a towering masterwork from the Walt Disney Company, and a rare example of art triumphing over commercial interest. 

It may seem dry to an outsider, but it is as engaging an experience as one can find anywhere at Walt Disney World. It’s a cinematic poem dedicated to the beauty of France. And, if your friends are still being weird about seeing it, even after you’ve spent 20 minutes trying to explain how wonderful it is, just tell them you’ll buy them some French pastries afterward at the Boulangerie. 

You can’t be above bribery at Walt Disney World.