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2. Kick off an impromptu flash mob

Mickey's Royal Friendship Faire

Image: Disney

Disney characters have it so easy. When troubles come their way, they can simply break into song and the world sings with them. All the chaos of life melts away and even the bitter baker and backwards barkeep who make fun of your penchant for reading real books (darn kids and their tablets) romp into chorus at your passing.

Perhaps you tried to solve your problems this way and found yourself in a disciplinary meeting wrapped in a sarong with an out-of-tune ukulele and a frazzled rooster, no closer to returning the heart of the ocean to Te Fiti. Unfortunately, even at the Most Magical Place on Earth, the fickle grip of reality holds true when it comes to solving crowd problems with the power of song. While Rapunzel and Flynn Rider might be able to inspire an angry mob of miscreants and ne’er-do-wells to break into knee-slapping choreography, attempts to kick off your own impromptu flash mob in the middle of theme park crowds will probably prove be more likely to inspire parents to hide their children and alert the nearest trooper of the fighting 501st than it will inspire cranky tourists to fall into harmony. Guess we’ll have to find somewhere else to dance like no one is watching.

3. Panic

Prancing zombie pirate from parade

Image: Disney

We actually have dedicated a surprising amount of content at Theme Park Tourist to dealing with awkward crowd encounters, and we’ve even touched on what to do if you have a straight up panic attack at Walt Disney World. In this case, we’re not talking about that type of panic.

If you’ve spent any extended amount of time in theme park crowds, the thought probably crossed your mind to just cast propriety to the wind and run away screaming.

Is this one really that far-fetched? People scream on roller coasters, after all. They scream upon seeing Gaston or Star Lord march onto the street, or even upon reuniting with Cousin Ruthie after hours circling the Cinderella Castle courtyard wondering if you might need to put out a missing person’s report to find her. Is it really that bizarre to want to throw up your arms, flail your hands like Buzz Lightyear on too many cups of Darjeeling, and run away screaming in the face of ravenous tourist swarms? Not that there’s anywhere to run to, but still… I suppose for the sake of not scaring the children (someone must remain strong for the little guys), we’ll keep this option on the shelf.

 
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