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Child Beraters

Image via Flickr user coljac
Image: Flickr (license)

What’s worse than watching someone yell at an adult employee? You guessed it! There’s no worse feeling at Disney than seeing a child cry. Every kid should have the vacation of a lifetime at a Disney theme park. Sometimes, the stress of such a seminal trip gets to the parents, though. They freak out in the unknown surroundings, and an upset child only magnifies the problem.

The end result is that parents wind up yelling at small children. Literally nobody knows the proper way to behave when forced to watch this situation. It’s uncomfortable, depressing, and even infuriating, depending on the level of tantrum. If a kid gets upset at Disney, that’s understandable. When the parent is the one yelling and screaming at their offspring, that’s a loss for humanity.

Stroller Maniacs

Question: Do you ever run anyone over with your car? How about your bicycle or motorcycle? Do you even target people with your shopping cart at the grocery store? Of course not. These are all various degrees of mean-to-homicidal behavior.

Why, then, do you think you’re perfectly within your rights to aim your giant stroller at the legs of strangers? Are you secretly trying to see if you can knock them flying into the air like you’ve watched happen in a cartoon? Are you a leg surgeon looking for more business? People’s knees, shins, and ankles aren’t targets, Stroller Maniacs! They’re rather important parts of the body. You can easily steer your vehicle away from these ligaments. It only takes a split second more time. Plus, you may have forgotten, but YOUR BABY is in that stroller. They’re not going to like a head-on collision, either! WON’T SOMEONE PLEASE THINK OF THE CHILDREN???

Close Standers

Okay, this issue is sometimes cultural. I understand that people who live in open spaces such as the desert prefer more personal space while those who live in giant metropolitan areas are used to limited personal space. Still, let’s all agree on some common ground here. If a total stranger can feel your breath on their neck, you’re standing too close. It’s not a big deal, as long as you realize the issue and fix it. And the fix is simple!

Take two steps back. That’s it. Problem solved. Sure, the lines at Disney are long at times. You may feel like you’re closer to the front of the line by getting up close and personal with the individual standing in front of you. In reality, you’re holding the same spot in line no matter where you stand, though.

Unless karma is feeling mercurial that day and pits you, the Close Stander, against a Line Jumper, your spot is secured. All you do by inching up on the person in front of you is make them wonder if they remembered to bring the mace. Don’t get maced at Disney, Close Stander. You won’t enjoy the fireworks if your eyes are burning.

 
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Comments

You forgot one. The Line Stretcher, these are the people that make the line longer by not closing up the space in front. The appropriate space is one that lets the rare breeze or other moving air to flow through.

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