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3. Pooh's Hunny Hut – Tokyo Disneyland

Two of the top three dark rides at Disney theme parks aren’t hosted in North America, at least not yet. Given recent announcements at D23, Disney’s clearly willing to import the best attractions from other parks if their quality justifies it. Pooh’s Hunny Hut definitely does.

One of the most expensive attractions ever built with a price tag of $130-$270 million, depending on who you believe, this ride ain’t your grandparents’ Winnie the Pooh adventure. It uses groundbreaking trackless technology to bounce a lot of hunny pots around a small space in a remarkably orderly fashion. You’ll get to enjoy all the joys of Ashdown Forest in a novel way.

The trackless ride carts provide theme park tourists with amazing views of all facets of each set piece, making people feel closer to the action than ever before. The dream sequence is particularly gripping due to the set design improvements made possible by a trackless cart. It gives the Imagineers more room to work. Since its inception in 2000, this attraction has claimed some of the longest wait-times at Tokyo Disneyland, and that won’t change anytime soon. It was an instant classic then that remains glorious today. 

2. Twilight Zone Tower of Terror – Disney’s Hollywood Studios

Look, I don’t want to get into a thing about shutting down this attraction to replace it with Guardians of the Galaxy, but it’s kind of unavoidable. Disney made a sound business decision that sucks for the people of California and other visitors to the Happiest Place on Earth. They had one of the greatest dark rides ever made and replaced it with something…less.

Guardians of the Galaxy simply hasn’t been in the pop culture zeitgeist long enough to match Rod Serling, and a few silly fights with an alien cannot match the awe of the Hollywood Tower Hotel. The impeccable theming of this derelict property that once catered to Hollywood’s elite is precisely how Disney has built their theme park empire. They’ve gotten the little touches right on the way to doing the big thing, which is in this case a huge drop from heights.

Disney also wasn’t lazy enough to do a simple drop tower, either. They added surprise elements such that riders have no idea whether they’re going up or down until it’s too late. The exhilaration of this experience is inimitable, and that’s why it’s won so many Best Dark Ride awards over the years. Until very recently, it was the best that Disney had to offer. But then…

1. Pirates of the Caribbean: Battle for the Sunken Treasure - Shanghai Disneyland

What do most of the attractions here have in common? They’re old. I mean “retire and move to Florida and watch Judge Judy and CBS reruns all day” old. And that’s fine. Rides are supposed to stay good for extended periods of time. Disney is great at this. Still, they also love having the opportunity to flex their creative muscle on new endeavors. It just doesn’t come up much.

That’s why the introduction of Shanghai Disneyland was so exciting. This Chinese theme park wouldn’t be tethered to existing Disney attractions in the same way that North American parks have been. Imagineers had free reign to re-imagine popular classics using current technology to elevate the ideas. It’s a form of plussing that’s only possible after decades of excellence. Disney had to succeed for multiple generations before they could reboot their own intellectual properties to modernize them.

The best example of this advancement is Pirates of the Caribbean: Battle for the Sunken Treasure. It debuted in 2016, almost half a century after the original, and it reset all existing expectations for dark rides. Suffice to say that this attraction is the embodiment of 21st century Imagineering.

The audio-animatronics are so lifelike that you’ll do a double-take when they stare back at you. The skeleton-to-human transformation from the movie franchise is seamless enough that you’ll feel like you’re living inside the film. And the most impressive feat is the submergence underwater, an action only possible for undead pirates. You’ll see all the treasures of the deep and the aquatic life that guards its mysteries.

The difference between the original version of Pirates of the Caribbean and the Shanghai Disneyland update is like the difference between a rotary dial phone from the 1940s and the one in your pocket right now. It’s a modern masterpiece and the best Disney dark ride open to the public today.

 
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Comments

David, I usually like your articles very much, but not this one. Please leave the negativity about the rides you don't like aside. I was really looking forward to your discussion about the tower of terror, and got a rant about the Guardians ride instead. It also doesn't sound like you've ridden it before: even if you don't like the ride, there's much more to it than "a few silly fights."

Great article. It seems to me that you forgot Tokyo Disney Sea's Journey to the Center of the Earth in your review. No themed setting rivals Mysterious Island to this day, not even Diagon Alley or Cars Land. And all great rides (like the original Tower of Terror, which is not a dark ride but a hyperdrop ride) start with a great setting. That ride is more than 15 years old and remains to many the ultimate dark ride experience. I would call Shanghai's Pirates a great second.

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