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An attempt to get the ultimate FastPass

How many times have you ridden Twilight Zone: Tower of Terror? No matter your answer, you probably can’t top the litigant in this lawsuit. A woman suffered an unfortunate incident involving endometriosis. The outcome from her multiple surgeries to address the issue was a tremendous amount of scar tissue in her abdomen and other parts of her body.

During a trip to Disney’s Hollywood Studios, she discovered a strange remedy for her afflictions. All the surgeries had left her in constant pain. When riding Twilight Zone: Tower of Terror, her body experienced the zero-gravity sensations followed by the immediate restoration of gravity afterward. This movement had an unexpected impact on her. It upended her scar tissue and thereby relieved her of pain.

Twilight Zone: Tower of Terror is many wonderful things, but this is the first time anyone has ever described it as a painkiller.

Due to its surprising health benefits, Tower of Terror became her favorite ride. Any time she felt the need to relieve her tension, she’d head to the Hollywood Tower Hotel. By her own account, she was riding down the elevator shaft as many as 50 times per day.

How was this possible? The sufferer procured a Guest Assistance Pass (GAP). It allowed her to cut to the front of the line. Alas, the sufferer was in tremendous pain on a regular basis. That can make a person grumpy. During an ill-considered moment, she got into a shouting match with a cast member. The employee felt that the victim was abusing her GAP privileges. She flipped out over the assertion, which is actually pretty understandable if it’s the only thing that lessened her agony. Alas, Disney has a zero-tolerance policy on such behavior and banned her from the park.

One tantrum cost the woman access to her favorite attraction, the one that literally eased her pain. What choice did she have? She sued Disney, demanding that they lift her ban from Hollywood Studios. She basically sought the ultimate FastPass, a chance to ride Tower of Terror whenever she wanted.

The elevator that doesn’t go up or down

Image: DisneySometimes, Disney builds illusions that are so good that they fool even con artists.

One of the rumors about Disney lawsuits that won’t die involves a Hydrolator. This piece of Disney theming was allegedly an elevator that would transport visitors at The Living Seas down to the depths of the ocean floor. Here, they’d witness sea creatures interact in their natural environment.

Anybody who knows anything about Epcot and The Living Seas knows the truth here. The Living Seas is a loving recreation of ocean habitation featuring one of the largest saltwater tanks ever constructed. It’s housed in a building that does NOT tunnel down into the Atlantic Ocean. To the contrary, the Hydrolator doesn’t go anywhere at all.

In an effort to add more believability to the underwater experience, Imagineers built a fake elevator system to enhance the illusion of deep sea exploration. A woman who wasn’t in on the joke sued Disney. She claimed that her eardrums burst during the underwater descent. What’s odd about this particular lawsuit is that Disney employees have discussed it for years, but nobody can find the original court documents. Even Snopes can’t prove or disprove its veracity.

Image: DisneyAs far as the legend goes, it’s the outcome that strains credulity. While this sort of made up lawsuit is certainly possible (Disney receives many of these each year), the alleged resolution is implausible. Supposedly, Disney took the jury members to the Hydrolator and demonstrated that it didn’t work, at which point the jurors quickly ruled in the company’s favor.

While I love the mental image of jurors scowling at the plaintiff in the wake of this demonstration, the reality is that an Imagineer’s court testimony would have had the same effect. The demonstration never would have been necessary, which is why I strongly suspect this story is based in some truth but has had myths added to it over the year.

Either way, you should take some Dramamine before the next time you ride the Hydrolator. And if you’re going to sue Disney for nausea, I should warn you that the Hydrolators haven’t existed for more than a decade. So, it’s not a smart lawsuit…but still no less ridiculous than the burst eardrums one.

David Mumpower is the author of the Disney Demystified series, which you can buy here.

 
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