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4. The Great Movie Ride – Pay no attention to the man behind the curtain

Great Movie Ride Exterior

The Great Movie Ride hasn’t had the best luck when it comes to upgrades. The much-loathed Hollywood Studios sorcerer’s hat blocked the attraction’s beautiful exterior from 2001-2015. The Footlight Parade scene has been subject to repeated breakdowns, and the ride has also been the target of weirdly pervasive rumors that the Alien section will be removed (for the record, this is not true).

However, The Great Movie Ride finally received some love in 2015 when Turner Classic Movies became its sponsor. The most noticeable benefit came in the updating of the ride’s ending movie montage, but the sponsorship brought one change that has sapped some of the magic from this Hollywood Studios centerpiece.

When the TCM refurbishment took place, the channel’s prominent host, Robert Osbourne, became the ride’s main narrator. By all logic, this would seem a great choice since his voice is easily associated with film history. However, with utmost respect to the late legend, for those unfamiliar with Osbourne his narration of The Great Movie Ride comes across as sounding like he’s utterly bored.

In the original attraction, a live host (your driver) narrated your journey through the movies. Guides with great personality added something truly special to the experience. You rooted for them when they were stolen away during the gunfight scene, and you cheered when they subsequently reappeared. The driver-narrators made the Great Movie Ride personal, and—most importantly—they could be heard.

Great Movie Ride Marquee

In the new attraction, depending on where you’re sitting, Robert Osbourne’s voice is almost inaudible. Without the context of being a TCM fan, his near-monotone delivery feels dull and clinical. Since Osbourne handles narration for most of the ride, the driver is relegated to an awkwardly superfluous role. They occasionally banter with his omnipresent voice, but the effect falls flat. By the time we reach the gunfight section, we have almost no personal connection to the driver, and the segment now seems campy and bizarre.

The TCM sponsorship, overall, was a good thing. The Great Movie Ride definitely needed updates to the final montage. However, the overuse of Robert Osbourne’s narration has cost the ride its former unpredictable charm.

What are some of your least favorite attraction updates?

 
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Comments

1. Pirates - totally don't agree with you on this one. It was the best way they could have updated Pirates and incorporated the movies while still staying true to the original. Having the new characters replacing forgettable one like the captain of the frigate and the captured prince and having Captain Jack Sparrow hiding throughout the bulk of the ride was a masterful stroke in merging the two. The last Jack fits in perfectly as he enjoys the spoils of war and I think him mumbling/singing to himself fits the character perfectly.

2. ToT - You're wrong on this one again IMHO. While ToT II indeed was a marked improvement from the initial offering the randomization of the new ToT is incredible. It makes it so you never know when the ride is really done and yes you can fall the entire 13 stories. My favorite is one sequence where you think you are done because you see the unload area but then it unexpectedly shoots you up again.

3. Test Track - totally on the mark with this one. I like the design aspect of Tron Track but miss the fun of the old TT.

4. The Great Movie Ride - on the mark with this one too. Much better whenever it was totally a spiel ride.

Some minor changes I don't necessarily appreciate:

Thunder Mountain - the cave in with the moving rocks. Not sure if this one has been perpetually broken. I heard a rumor it might have been OSHA regulations that they were too close to riders or something?

Splash Mountain - the addition of the lap bars. Just a bit annoying and less fun with them.

ToT - I miss the lap bars on this one. I think it made you feel less secure than the seat belts.

Star Tours - I LOVE Star Tours the Adventure Continues but why oh why isn't the classic Death Star trench battle not one of the choices? I know we had it for decades but still I think it should be a choice.

Universe of Energy - I miss the snake like dinosaur. It's especially awkward with the references to it in the movie following the dino diorama.

The Land - I miss the spieling in the boat ride. Not quite the same without it.

Dinosaur - This one is so minor it's almost not worth mentioning but the descriptive name Countdown to Extinction is a MUCH better name than the absolutely droll Dinosaur. I don't know who named that movie but it's a terrible name. Even the movie should have been named Countdown to Extinction. It's very evocative of what you're about to experience in the ride. It's like if Finding Nemo was called Fish, or Lion King was just Lion, or King Kong was Big Ape. Terrible naming.

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