Now that we’ve established what your favorite Magic Kingdom ride says about you, let’s take a look at the other gates. Sure, Magic Kingdom is number one in your hearts (and ticket sales), but you probably spend more than half your time at the other three parks. So, here’s what your favorite attraction at the other three Walt Disney World parks says about you.
Let’s just say there are a lot of points on your driver’s license. You love NASCAR. You have very strong opinions about people like Kyle Busch and Tony Stewart. You’ve also mastered video games like Forza and Mario Kart. You love the idea of owning a giant Detroit factory where you can make your own car, although it will unfortunately end up looking like The Homer. You don’t mind riding with the top down on the Interstate – and your hair reflects this. You also aren’t afraid to ride in cars with strangers – maybe you’re an Uber driver.
You love the idea of world travel and have big plans for 2016. To date, most of your adventures have occurred in California, though. You love the smell of oranges and the ocean breeze, owning a lot of candles that recreate those effects. Your favorite Seinfeld character is Puddy. You know you love hang gliding, whether or not you’ve tried it. You love riding the swings more than any child you know.
Your favorite movie is The Martian. You’re a real button pusher. Your friends are sick and tired of you saying, “Houston, we have a problem.” You can do your job as long as it’s a single task. Otherwise, you’d probably wreck the ship and cost NASA billions. Your hardest choices in life come down to picking between the colors orange and green. You secretly look down on anyone who picks green. You angle to be selected captain in everything you do. It’s too much responsibility for anyone else.
You often feel like eons pass by in moments. You feel like the evolution of mankind has been an uphill battle. Judi Dench is your favorite actor, recently supplanting Jeremy Irons. You enjoy imagining what your future will look like, although you dread the choices that come with it. Naps are your favorite, but getting off your feet for 20 minutes is great, too. You can’t quite explain why, but you associate specific historical events with certain smells.
The Seas with Nemo & Friends
You are a terrible babysitter. Sharks scare the stuffing out of you. Your DVR has a season pass for The Ellen DeGeneres Show. Sometimes you feel like you’re living in a Future World, but other days you realize it’s more like an aquarium. You are currently counting down the seconds until the release of Finding Dory. When you see a clam, you experience a strange sensation to climb in its mouth. Your favorite song is In The Big Blue World; that’s not healthy. On the plus side, every parent in the world should be as caring and protective as you.
Journey Into Imagination With Figment
You enjoy scatological humor, and lament about how great things used to be…such as previous iterations of Journey Into Imagination With Figment. You love Monty Python and are the rare fan who claims Eric Idle as your favorite. You buy any and all Disney merchandise. You love dragons, but in more of a Pete’s Dragon way than in a Khaleesi rain-fire-down-on-your-enemies kind of way. You love your children and would do anything for them. I mean *anything*.
Living With the Land
Get a haircut, hippie.