Seven Dwarfs Mine Train

Image: Disney

There is a six in seven chance that you are insanely upbeat. You love the classics. You’re also a tireless worker although you never eat an apple during your lunch break just to be safe. Tyrion is your favorite character on Game of Thrones, although that’s common sense more than anything else. You love to sing while on the job, and you’ve somehow found a workplace where such behavior is acceptable. However, you do NOT like the song Short People by Randy Newman, and none of you ever sings that.

You’re also a big fan of rock, whether it’s the type you chisel, the kind you listen to, or the forms of transportation that sway back and forth. You love precious jewels, but you’re not the miserly kind. You share them with all your friends. Finally, you have an extremely distinctive name, like former NBA player Sleepy Floyd. It’s either that or you earned a doctorate in something.

Big Thunder Mountain

Image: Disney

You dream about frontier living in the Gold Rush era. Deadwood is probably your favorite TV show. You think that smooth rides are for wusses. You’re a bigger train buff than The Big Bang Theory’s Sheldon Cooper. You like to keep your bathtub outside, a la Petticoat Junction, and you don’t take your clothes off when you use it.

You’re also the one person on the planet who enjoyed the movie Wild, Wild West. You know that there are better mountain ranges nearby, but you still swear that yours is the best. Sometimes you feel like the only person left in town, and you’re always vaguely disappointed when tumbleweeds don’t float by.

The Hall of Presidents

Image: Disney

You are a political animal. You never yawn once during long speeches, and you haven’t ever missed a Presidential debate. You love The West Wing in a way that even Martin Sheen doesn’t. You picketed the opening weekend of Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter. When you see the presidential heads in the jars on Futurama, you know that other people think it’s funny, but you wonder if it’s technically possible. You’re vaguely disappointed your father didn’t found anything. Finally, your greatest dream is that animatronic Abraham Lincoln will gain sentience and run for president.

Under the Sea ~ Journey of the Little Mermaid

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All you want for Christmas is thingamabobs, even though you already have 20. At restaurants, you confidently order octopus, muttering to the waiter, “It knows what it did.” Your favorite planet is Neptune. Once you get done at Magic Kingdom, you reflexively head to the pool.

You prefer star-crossed love. You have an overprotective father. There is blue blood in your veins, but your friends all find you humble. You place an undue amount of pressure on the outcome of a kiss. Finally, you look great in a bathing suit, although you do get weird looks when you get out of the pool.

Haunted Mansion

Image: Disney

You are way into the supernatural. Like, calling you a goth girl or guy is stating the obvious too much. You likely had strong opinions about Team Edward or Team Jacob back in the day. You also binge-watch shows like Vampire Diaries, Teen Wolf, and Supernatural. Meanwhile, you despise Eddie Murphy and have held a grudge ever since you saw him ruin the movie adaptation of The Haunted Mansion.

I would imagine you’re unbearable around Halloween. You have all kinds of knickknacks and accessories you only break out during this time of year. Most of them are in black and have skulls on them. You have a Room for One More tattoo and never say no to hitchhikers, secretly hoping they’re ghosts. You want to live forever, although you’d prefer to be undead rather than alive.

You also have a dim view of marriage and believe that becoming a widow by illegal circumstances is perfectly justified in the right situations. And while you’re not much into fashion, you have a lot of hatboxes lying around. Additionally, you’d love your life to have a caustic narrator. Then, everything interesting that happens could turn into the most macabre interpretation possible.  Finally, you own a Volkswagen, which you lovingly call your Doom Buggy.