A theme park not so far, far away

Image: Disney

The most famous rumored fifth gate ties together several of the themes above. It’s an expansion that would be cheap to make, it would be a boutique park, and it would highlight an already discussed Disney villain. That park is obviously Star Wars Land, which you’ve assuredly heard is going to become a part of the massive update to Hollywood Studios.

During its original planning stage, however, Star Wars Land would stand on its own. The Disney acquisition of Star Wars from George Lucas in 2012 was an exciting development on several fronts. It meant that they could continue the movie franchise, of course, but it also gave Disney the keys to one of the best-selling merchandise machines that they didn’t already own. Star Wars instantly flipped from being the competition to standing as one of Disney’s linchpin intellectual properties.

The company spent months discussing the best ways to monetize the license, something they’re still doing today, and a theme park was a logical conclusion. After all, Star Tours has remained a consistent draw since its Disneyland debut in 1987. When they reinvented it with multiple branches in 2010, Star Tours – The Adventure Continues proved that the icy reception of the prequel movies had done little to besmirch the overall popularity of Star Wars as a franchise. And if Jar Jar Binks can’t destroy you, you’re invincible.

Like many Star Wars products before it, Star Wars Land would mercilessly punish its devoted fanbase by charging them to live out their dream. The idea was of a Jedi Training School, not to be confused with the children’s show they run at Hollywood Studios. For a measly $200, a person could enter the park and feel like a new recruit learning the ways of The Force.

Image: Disney

Like Night Kingdom, Star Wars Land would remain open fewer hours than standard Walt Disney World parks. So, a price more than double the cost of Magic Kingdom would make even Comic Book Guy choke on his 100-taco meal. Even to single techies with tons of disposal income, the charge is outrageous. You have to REAAAAAAALY want to be a Jedi Master to pay that kind of price.

How did Disney intend to justify the cost? Have you ever heard of fantasy baseball camps? They’re the ones where people get to spend the weekend training with their favorite players. Star Wars Land as initially planned would work a lot like that. A customized menu of options would allow for heavy personalization. With technology advancing at a rapid rate, Disney intended to give people the type of Jedi Training they desire to make them feel like they really accomplished something by the time they left the park. In that regard, Star Wars Land would have represented a unique opportunity for some of the most loyal fans in the world to live out their dreams, albeit at a dazzling cost.

As you know, Disney eventually decided to go a different way with the concept. The Star Wars Land they’ve announced is a much more conventional theme park experience featuring new rides and character interactions, albeit ones people who visit during Star Wars Weekends already know. Don’t get me wrong. The presence of an actual Star Wars area at Hollywood Studios guarantees a crowd increase so significant that I can easily envision it overtaking Epcot to become the second most popular theme park at Walt Disney World. Keep in mind that it is currently last, 90,000 guests behind Animal Kingdom and over 1.1 million guests behind Epcot.

So, I’m projecting a massive spike in park traffic the instant Star Wars Land opens. It’s just unfortunate that something with so much promise got reduced rather than expanded. When Disney purchased the Star Wars license, nobody was hoping that they’d do just enough. People want Disney to shoot the moon on this particular franchise, and I’m dubious that the current iteration of the concept will satisfy guests. 

Still waiting by that fifth gate…

Image: Universal

Here’s the amazing thought about Disney’s stagnation during the timeframe from 1998 until today. Islands of Adventure at Universal Studios is newer than any theme park at Walt Disney World. And it’s already experienced a major upgrade with The Wizarding World of Harry Potter. Animal Kingdom won’t get one until Avatarland finally debuts in 2017 or 2018. This lack of progress explains why Disney is so focused on improving Hollywood Studios with Star Wars Land and Pixar Place expansions. Their current setup is remarkably dated relative to the historical progress of Disney theme parks as well as the development of others across the world. If you’re about to argue the point, consider that Animal Kingdom is only six years newer than Disneyland Paris a park that is notoriously run down by Disney standards.

Disney’s failure to build a fifth gate continues to frustrate customers to this day. Many observers expected them to finally announce a new park in 2015, but the company chose the boosting of a current Walt Disney World property instead. Will there be any new developments in 2016? If there are, nobody is saying anything yet.

In fact, Disney seems perfectly willing to improve what they have rather than expand beyond their current borders. Given their record-setting attendance in recent years, it’s hard to argue against this strategy, frustrating though it might be. Still, with so many popular intellectual properties and so much Orlando property, it’s undeniable that Disney will eventually open their fifth gate. The question is what form it will take and whether any of the ideas above are explored once more. Which of these concepts do you wish had come true? Do you have any other suggestions for potential Disney parks?