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4. Heads

Have you ever really parsed the wording in the tram spiel? You are specifically instructed to keep your hands, arms, feet, and legs inside the tram, and to hold onto your hats and glasses. You’re told to stay seated, which would make it impossible to hang your rear end out of the tram. But Disney never once mentions heads. Think about that for a moment. It would be absolutely horrible to crash a hand or a foot into a passing car or a nearby solid object. But if I had to choose between destroying my hand or my head, I’ll take the hand injury every time. It’s a strange omission on Disney’s part.

5. FastPass+ and MDE

FastPass Plus Kiosk

Disney invested tremendous amounts of money into its FastPass+ and My Disney Experience programs, and they are sending out vast numbers of mailings to families with vacations booked to help them understand how the system works. As a Disney fan, it feels like we are increasingly being pressured to use the new technology regardless of personal preference. Yet the parking lot tram ride is the last chance to sell guests on the program, and they’re not taking advantage of it? Based on how Disney’s been acting, I would expect a sales pitch to be sandwiched right between protecting your body parts and not jumping off to pick up your dropped items. 

6. Falling people

This one’s a little morbid, but think about it for a moment. Disney gives you all kinds of instructions on how not to fall out of the tram. But they don’t strap you in or otherwise force you to stay seated. So what happens if someone completely ignores the warnings and falls out? They tell you to leave your stuff behind and alert a cast member at the next stop…if someone you love falls out, what’s the plan? I know I’d be jumping off the moving tram to rescue them, but then what? OK, there’s probably no good way to actually address that scenario in the safety spiel, but I sure hope someone has thought it through.

What about you? Have you ever listened to the safety spiel loop and thought about everything it doesn’t technically cover? What do you think about the new selfie stick warnings? Is Disney going overboard in the name of safety, trying to cover themselves legally, or just piecing together a spiel comprised of some, but not all, modern day warnings layered onto a very old script? What other warnings, real or in jest, would you like to hear? Share your opinions with us in the comments! 

 
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