The silly stuff

Image: Disney

Quirks regarding attractions, spooks who refuse to leave, and a frozen (or undead?) park founder are all fascinating myths. There’s a final category of nonsense so ridiculous that it boggles the mind. Here are the weird urban legends about Disney that are impossible to categorize.

It’s not made of Legos, folks

Image: Disney

Some people are deluded enough that they think Cinderella Castle at Magic Kingdom hides a secret. The state of Florida suffers from extreme weather, especially during hurricane season. Disney conspiracy theorists are convinced that Imagineers planned for the most catastrophic of conditions. If a hurricane ever came inland, Disney employees could unpack Cinderella Castle in hundreds of tidy pieces and relocate it to safety until the storm passed.

I…you…what? How does anybody even debunk that? Isn’t common sense good enough as a refutation? There are castles that have survived for centuries that aren’t as well fortified as Cinderella Castle. If Red Dawn ever became a real thing, Cinderella Castle would be a great place to stay until the enemy was pushed off American soil. It’s that solid in its construction. A place that can survive cannon fire isn’t going to disassemble like a Mr. Potato Head. What’s there is there. Permanently.

Toy Story characters receive special training

Image: Disney

One of the joys of Disney theme parks is the training provided to certain cast members. The people provided the privilege of representing Disney’s iconic characters in costume must remain as true as possible to the history and behavior of those identities. Mulan will act like a warrior, Dug will meet and instantly love you, and Mary Poppins will speak in an authentic accent. It’s this dedication to detail that differentiates Disney’s theme parks from basic amusement parks.

Sometimes, having to act in character is especially tricky. Take, for example, the cast of Toy Story. Like the It’s a Small World dolls above, Woody and Buzz and the rest of their team only come to life when the humans aren’t around. The recurring joke in the movie franchise is that the instant someone shouts a warning that their owner, Andy, is around, they must freeze in place.

Take that premise and extrapolate it to a theme park setting. Say, for example, that you see the army soldiers from Toy Story marching in formation toward a greeting site. What would happen if you shouted, “Everybody freeze! Andy’s coming!” The only acceptable answer here is chaos.

Disney theme parks are precisely run operations requiring cast members to maintain order in the face of the unimaginable chaos of thousands of children under 10. You can’t have people in giant costumes dropping to the ground in order to stay in character. It’s a danger to everyone involved, and it creates mayhem for people in the surrounding area.

Image: Disney

In order to avoid that eventuality, Disney has a standing directive that cast members cannot be 100 percent authentic when it comes to Toy Story quotes. If you shout, “Andy’s coming,” the mascot will acknowledge you. They will not, however, dive to the ground. At least, that’s true today.

In 2013, Dewayne Bevil of the Orlando Sentinel tested the practice. He’d seen a viral image making the rounds that showed Woody and Jesse sitting lifeless after a guest had pointed out that Andy was on his way. A third person, presumably the person providing the warning, rests between them in order to get in on the fun.

Bevil, a highly respected, longtime amusement park reporter, received a reply from a Disney spokesperson. They acknowledged that due to safety concerns, Toy Story characters are no longer allowed to participate in what is a wonderful tribute to a basic theme of the movie franchise. The same cast member, however, refused to deny that it had never happened previously. That’s the company’s way of confirming that it seemed like an entertaining practice that proved a bit sketchy in execution, so Disney had to shut it down.

So, this myth is busted but also confirmed as historically accurate. If you ever manage to persuade a Disney cast member to perform this rite on a slow day, you are officially my hero. Because it’s awesome.

Under the Dome: The Prequel

Image: FOX

Centuries before Stephen King and The Simpsons Movie celebrated the idea of living under a dome, this rumor existed regarding Epcot. Some people were convinced that Walt Disney picked Florida for a reason. While he couldn’t control hurricane season, presumably due to a disappointing series of trials from Imagineering’s Weather Division, Uncle Walt could make other plans.

The most legendary of these is that he intended to build a dome. Within its domain, Disney could guarantee perfect weather at all times thanks to the magic of what I’m sure would have been the world’s largest central air unit. For all we know, that might have been the original purpose of the Spaceship Earth facility.

The belief that Disney intended to do this was so pervasive that it was as tethered to the concept of Epcot as the monorail and People Mover. Alas, any passion for this never made it out of the planning stage. While Imagineers did consider it alongside countless other potential innovations for the City of Tomorrow, they discarded the idea for the obvious reason. Do you have any idea much the materials would cost for a dome of that size? And you’re not going to find anything like prefabricated dome panels at Home Depot. This explains why Orlando residents do not currently reside under the dome.

The spitting camel

Image: Jeff Christiansen, Flickr (license)

Since its inception, eBaum’s World has had a reputation for being a bit shaky with the truth. After a media conglomerate purchased the site and fired all the original staff members, this destination web hub became notorious for, let’s say, borrowing content from other locations. The danger with that is that you occasionally cite someone else’s nonsense as fact.

That’s the only way to explain the first page of this article. I’ll save you a click by spoiling it (and note that if you must click, please follow standard internet protocol by NOT reading the comments section). eBaum’s World claims that a Disney cast member performs a nefarious action while guests are flying on Aladdin’s Magic Carpet Ride. According to their information, someone controls the camel spitting. I guess the premise is that Disney figures it’s a great idea for one of their employees to antagonize guests with a splash of water, especially if it’s well-aimed enough to hit someone in the eye.

Think about the above for the moment. Is The Walt Disney Company in the business of antagonizing park guests? Sure, a flick of moisture isn’t the most irritating thing that’ll transpire during a theme park visit, but it’s annoying nonetheless. Disney employs the water splash as a fun way to add an element of surprise to the festivities. If they added any element of meanness to the act, guests would complain. When that happened, Disney would stop doing it immediately. They built their entire empire around the concept of positive reinforcement.

To a larger point, Aladdin’s Magic Carpet Ride is an automated attraction. Everything works on a timing system, which means that all splashing occurs in a way that you can actually anticipate if you study it enough. Of course, you don’t even need to put that much effort into it. Watch the camel’s head. That way, you’ll know if and when any water is heading your way. There’s no evil cast member, folks.